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Saint or Sinner?

Isn't it odd how people seem to think they can say anything they want to you when you have children?

Some people seem to believe that your brain is so addled when you're a parent, you depend on them to set you straight. And if you happen to have children close in ages, or children of different color then, evidently, you open yourself up to even more comments.

Here are a couple of examples. In the years since our family was formed, one lady has grabbed my arm and asked, quite seriously, if I'd ever heard of contraceptive. Another lady told me she was worried, hugged me, then asked why we'd adopted when we knew we'd be killed in our beds one day. But the worst for me was when a lady sidled up to my husband and told him what a saint he was to have forgiven me...three times!

Many years ago, Dan and I made a conscious decision not to let these rude comments annoy or stress us. And, in fact, they give me blog fodder. But I have to wonder why people classify each other as saints or sinners when, in reality, we're all somewhere in between the two, trying to live our lives the best we can.

And let's face it; children may addle our brains but not enough that we don't recognize rudeness!


Children don't addle our brains enough
that we don't recognize rudeness!




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Reader Comments (4)

Thats shocking! If anything, I hope it just motivated you to educate people that love comes to families in all different sizes, shapes, colours, ages, characters..... You can't be offended by people's obvious stupidity!

It astounds me more, that people just are so 'blinkered' and closed minded.

I can just imagine your husband saying something back to the person like "Waddya mean I should forgive her - he looks just like me!!!!!"

Love to all.. Kathy

February 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dan wanted to say something like, "Well, I know I'm the dad but I don't know who the mothers are!" No, very early on we decided not to get offended but to see it as a teaching moment. So, even when the kids were too young to understand what we were doing, we'd address the children loudly enough so the offender could hear and say something like, "Children, that's called ignorance. And when people make ignorant comments we feel sorry for them because they haven't had the opportunity to know any better. We choose for our lives to be full of love and not hate." Then we'd smile at the offender and walk away.

February 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRhia Roberts

Your children are gorgeous! People are amazingly ignorant! One positive thing I've found is that having children who don't look like you let's people be very open. Several times I've had people sit down and tell me about their experiences with being foster children. They've obviously needed to talk about it, but haven't been able to. I like being able to give someone that gift!

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusie Kline

You're so right, Susie; I'd not thought about how people open up to us so much because we're all different colors...but they do. We really didn't allow comments to upset us in any way but it does fascinate me that people think it's not only their right but their duty to say such things to others. We certainly think our kids are gorgeous...though at 10, 12, and 13 with the preteen/teen attitude, I can think of other descriptive words to use some days :)

March 29, 2012 | Registered CommenterDr. Rhia

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